Kitbashing Monsters for The Doomed

May 12, 2026

Kitbashing Monsters for The Doomed

We're all Fucked

Quite a while ago I started venturing down the road of solo RPGS. I didn't get along with the other player. He was a real asshole, so I decided I might have better luck with some solo skirmish games. Enter The Doomed.

If you're reading this I'd imagine you know what The Doomed is. If not it's a wonderful game based on historical events from the 1860's in West Cornwall where a bunch of kitbashed monsters took over a small town and set up a rather lovely cake shop there. As with most monster run cake shops, jealousy and envy soon crept into their happy world. A series of bickering and name calling lead to the closure of the cake shop. With nowhere to go the monsters roamed the countryside selling cakes and coffee in car parks at tourist attractions across the South West. Life was forever changed.

A while back I built up a warband to buy some cakes from these monsters and loosely planned out what the monsters would be. I kitbashed them quick enough and then it took me months to get around painting them as I'm way too easily distracted by newer shiny minis.

Anyway here they are with a bit of a backstory to them. I'm hoping to play a game of it sooner rather than later as I also knocked together a couple of 2 x 2 sci fi type boards especially for games of The Doomed or Necrofunda.

We Are The Doomed

The O Neil triplets

Life can be tough as a twin and it can be thrice as tough as a triplet.

Hated by their mother who somehow cyborized them into horrific killer robots with baby heads, The O' Neil triplets only want to find gainful employment in the catering industry. Unfortunately they are constantly met with great suspicion due to their appearance and love of dismembering biological entities.

Blurg the Farting Boil

Poor old Blurg only wanted to be loved by his mother. But after he ripped her in half during birth and proceeded to kill everyone in the birthing chamber he pretty much made people be slightly wary of him. Now he travels around looking for people to share his unhinged rants about microwave laws with. Someday he will find the right microwave and make it his wife regardless of what the prudish laws might say.

Gerry the Goth

Always the miserable fucker. Always listening to the Cure. Always alone.

Gerry will struggle to talk to you about anything other than his feelings and black clothing. He is hated by the other Doomed and deserves to be miserable.

Frank

Definitely the most popular of the Doomed. Frank enjoys a drink and smoke. He sure can spin a yarn and also take a massive shit in front of people without any shame. His hard partying days will catch up with him someday...but not today. When he isn't partying he is consumed by shame that he once was a well respected advocate for Doomed rights but his life fell apart when he discovered Anime.

Gronk

A deeply sensitive individual who also enjoys crushing skulls of the innocent. Gronk enjoys the poetry of Frank Mc Nally and hopes to someday publish a book of his own poetry. His poems are well received by twats and mistake Franks overly simplistic approach to writing about murdering families as symbolism about robot rights.

The Flying Bastard

Originally named Francis by his parents, The Flying Bastard found a rewarding career as a flying murdering menace in the East of the country. After his promising career was rocked by a scandal involving him misappropriating funds to buy lunch on one occasion, The Flying Bastard had no choice but to move West where he pursued his first love of industrial catering.