Meet Our The Forbidden Psalm Warbands

 

Over the next few weeks I’m going to be sharing some pics and battle reports from our adventures with the ridiculously good Forbidden Psalm, the miniature skirmish game based in the Mork Borg universe. I’ve had the book since it was launched and have played a few games but never committed fully to playing a full campaign until recently. I’m in the process of brainwashing Mrs Roll D to Die into tabletop wargaming and I think playing some skirmish games might be more appropriate for getting someone into gaming as opposed to The Horus Heresy….which I’m planning for later.

So before I get started with the battle reports I thought it might be nice to give the main characters of our little tale a seperate post of their own to introduce them to the world.I’ll start off by introducing the actual warbands and then the characters.I don’t know if they’ll all make it through or what warped state they’ll be in at the end of the campaign but here they are in all their glory.

The Dirty Bastards

The Dirty Bastards are a collection of freaks and mercenaries from all over the world. Drawn together as no one else would have the stomach or patience to tolerate spending anytime with them, they piss about the backlanes of society looking for easy ways to make some coin to spend on their debaucherous ways.

Pookie The Baby Legs

The term “Shit for Brains” could have been invented especially for Pookie. A vicious son of a bitch who’s stupidity is only matched by his ugliness, Pookie takes joy in slowly beating his enemies to death with a blunted sword his father tries using to kill him when he slid out of his mother’s womb. While definitely not the most pleasant thing to be around he’s very handy in a fight.

Ada The Herb Master

A particularly malevolent waste of flesh masquerading as something born of man.Ada’s true origin remains a mystery even to those few closest to him. He does show some sort of intelligence and has a proficiency for casting unclean scrolls without turning the warband into scattered ash. Doesn’t talk much but when he does all around are beyond offended by his political views and progressive attitude towards sock goblins.

Uku The Duplicate

Uku always had a talent for sudden violence and witty banter. If he had been born a couple of feet taller he would definitely have been drafted into the royal army but unfortunately for Uku he was traded by his parents at a young age with the local slave master for some bread and a broken guitar. Uku was later bought by a cruel knight who squired him as a joke but gave him a sense of morality that has been dying out since the prophecies started coming through.

Gorand The Smelly

Although he looks like a stupid old fool, Gorand is actually only 22 years young. Growing up in a cannibalistic acting troupe was not a easy task for Gorand. He saw many terrible things which aged him at an accelerated rate compared to his peers. Having his leg eaten by the artistic director at an aftershow party is rumoured to have been the catalyst in him leaving the Shuckspearian Players. Luckily for him he was taken in by the Dirty Bastards who recognised his complete lack of talent for survival and thought he might come in handy as cannon fodder.

Wolf The Sometimes

A one time witch hunter who was caught frollicking with more than one witch, Wolf was ejected from the Brotherhood of Misogyny and soon became the founding member of The Dirty Bastards.It wasn’t long before his charm and willingness to accept freaks into his group helped him build the horrible group of mercenaries we know know and hate. He likes to think that he is the strong silent type but his addiction to alcohol means that he talks nonstop and is prone to bouts of emotional breakdowns where he over shares his fears and childhood traumas with anyone who is unfortunate to be in close proximity.

The Froggy Shites

When you’re born as a weird frog man not many options are open to you in a world where any one who looks slightly different is burnt at the stake. Luckily for the Froggy Shites they were all born and bred in a small little swamp far from the machinations of humans. Seeking adventure and fame they left the safety of their home to venture forth under the leadership of their insanely naive and self proclaimed King, El Bobo.

El Bobo The No Crumpet

El Bobo sees the good in everyone. Even the stupid weasel folk his tribe have sworn an oath of destruction against. He grew up in a loving home with extremely liberal parents. Maybe a few slaps here and there mightn’t have gone astray in tempering his overinflated sense of self worth and entitlement. A trip to the local head doctor might also have helped quieted the voices in his head telling him he was king. Life could have been very different.

Pew The Pew Pew

Pew was always a fan of the local archery club when he was a kid but his father forbade him from joining. It was only after his father had a tragic accident where he appeared to have fallen on 6 home made arrows which punctured through his back and hit all his vital organs,that Pew finally managed to join the club. After similar accidents befell people on the committee, Pew ended up becoming the leader of the club. But he was never content. When he heard of El Bobos plans to leave the swamp and seek adventure he was the first to sign up.

Eisencush the Namtabandy

The darkest most evil magic user the swamp had ever seen. Eisencush is well known and hated in the swamp for his vile and disturbing behaviour. He has been seen defiling graves under a full moon and consorting with demons. All in the swamp fear him and it is for this reason that his many crimes have not been answered for. The swamp gave a sigh of relief the day he decided to join El Bobo’s band of heroes. El Bobo was glad to have a magic user join him and in his naivety he believes that Eisencush is misunderstood by the swamp folk.

Shortie The Loud

Ever the optimist Shortie jumped at the chance to join El Bobos ragtag team of adventurers. He always thinks things will work out for the best. Even when he caught Eisencush pleasuring himself with the bones of his long departed parents, Shortie thought that at least their corpses were bringing joy to someone else. He has absolutely no idea what to expect on their adventures and thinks that they will undoubtedly make lots of friends along the way…He will be their doom.

Mottocrush The Mortis

A particularly horrible bastard, Mottocrush was long regarded as the bully of the swamp. Indeed it was suspected that all the times he kicked El Bobo in the head may have been the root cause of the self proclaimed king hearing voices in his head. Liked by no one apart from Shortie he has decided to leave the village to inflict pain and misery on the outside world. For you see his biggest secret is that he has been holding back from fully unleashing his hate in the swamp for years now. He can’t contain it anymore and if he doesn’t obey the voice of the violent demon living in his belly button he fears he will go insane.